Having an Affair with the Boss
Dear Jane,
I am in my early 20's and currently getting my Master's degree while working full time. I'm very career driven and am looking to be successful.
Just a few weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of a couple of years. While the relationship wasn't bad and I still have feelings for him, the thing is I wasn't able to fully commit myself to him either because I just felt that we weren't on the same page.
I've always had a close relationship with my boss and one night while working late into the night with him, he offered me a drink while I told him about my relationship. We had a really long talk about things and I think my boss was able to tell how upset I was so that at the end of our discussion, when I was ready to leave, he gave me a hug. That was all there was to it at that point.
A few days later, I decided to get my boss a bottle of wine as a way of thanking him. We continued our friendly relationship and made a date to hang out and share the bottle of wine that I bought.
On the night that we hung out, we disclosed intimate details and information about each of our lives. He told me about his own marriage and about how much he loved his wife which surprised me a bit as there were several rumors going on in the office that he was having an affair. Anyway, towards the end of the evening, he came close towards me and with his hand on top of mine had asked me why I had told him all the things I did about my personal life.
I was surprised by this action and then all of a sudden he leaned in to give me a kiss to which I willingly responded with a kiss back. It's from there that our relationship further developed into what is now a full on affair.
I feel guilty that I'm having an affair with a married man and yet I can't help it. He feels guilty as well as he loves his kids, but he feels completely different for me than his wife. He treats me very well and makes sure that I'm happy and protected. My question is what should I do? I want to be happy in my own life and continue in my career and don't want to be promoted because I'm sleeping with the boss, but on the other hand, being with him is exciting and so enjoyable! I know it's still early to throw words around like love, but I really do feel like I am starting to fall in love with him... Any advice would be helpful!